My darling boy,
with each new day since the morning of your birth, you’ve made my world rise higher than ever before. At first it was in the little gurgles, the milk-sighs, the wonder of watching your eyelashes grow in. Since then, it’s been in your smiles, in your exploration, in your new sounds and new movements and new world exploration, anew everyday. Right now, what makes my world highest is the moments we share when we’re interacting as close as can be. When you’re talking to me “a goo ga gooooo ba dada”, I watch the formation of your lips as they close around the language and my lips smile in reply. When you’re giving me a cuddle just because; both arms now, wrapped tightly around me, your head nestled in, legs swung up and over the Bump that is your brother. When we’re sharing an ice-cream, you holding tightly onto the cone at its middle, guarding it tightly, one lick for me and the next one for you – always me first, thank you for sharing, my Babyone. My world rises as we empty the washing machine, mundanity of the task swept away as you pass me the clothes, piece by piece, and wait for my clap before pulling the next piece deftly out – we’ve made improvements on our time, love, one load only takes ten minutes now to hang out.
I’m still awed by your changes, physically – the muscle tone slowly appearing in lean legs, the curls ever lightening, ginger streaked; the dexterity in your fingers as you master gate locks, and door knobs, shred up paper, eat rice grains piece by piece. But even more so, you awe me, my first-born, just you. I ride high on your empathy and inquisitiveness, on your concentration and determination to crack whatever the latest self-tasked goal. I swing steady through your frustrations, trying to acknowledge how tough the world must be somedays, lovingly guide you through the temper you feel and whines you make. Even higher you throw me when we come out of the awkward half hour and resettle ourselves, you latched on for Mummy milk, showing me your fingers and your toes and your belly..demonstrating through giggles your ability to identify my nose, and my eyes and my ears and those of Winnie the Pooh too, for now where M drinks, Winnie drinks too.
The coming few weeks will be a challenge for you, MKM, and I apologise for any pain or sadness, or frustration or anger you may experience in the days we’ve yet to face. Baba and I know you will come through unscathed the other side; we ask you to trust us to help you through it in with the only way we really know how. No matter how tough the adjustment to our sharing this life with another, the fact remains, and will always be the same, that we love you, darling one, so very, very much. In the next weeks and days when life takes on its next phase for our family, the emotions you will feel are all valid, every single one, and we’ll be here to absorb them, to experience them, to understand and respond to them together. Be patient with us, please, littlest one. We’ll be trying our best for you and us.
Every morning, since you were born, we’ve looked at you and felt our hearts swell. No matter how many people share the love we hold inside, what age you become or what the stage in our lives, this love that sets us up rising is ever-growing, never-fading and is truer than the clouds in the sky.
This roller coaster we’re on now together, it’s the best ride in the fairground I promise, so hold on tight MKM, another twist is being added to its peak.