My little dude,
For the past two weeks you’ve managed to keep my heart firmly in my throat as you’ve pulled up to stand, let go intrepidly, not quite realising that your balance isn’t quite right – though alhamduillah you do grasp that spreading your arms out eagle-span and sticking out your bum makes those landings somewhat softer. Nevertheless, I’ve been waiting for the day when I’m not within reach and you dive down headfirst securing your first real bump and a bruise. I need wait no longer…
…but this bruise, this first bump on your head came not from falling from standing, or tripping while trying to walk but while sitting, quite calmly, you just toppled straight forward! No tears, just a very perplexed look; “Now what on earth happened there, Mum?”
Your first little bruise (the bumps already gone). Like so many things in this journey we share what we expect never comes how we’d thought. You continue to astound me, MKM, every day. Yet not with the things that I thought that you would…no, it’s not your first time letting go and standing alone, or watching you scoot your way along the sofas edge on tip toes holding on, it’s not these things, the ‘big’ things, it’s not these things I’ll recall. It’s the small things that amaze me, that enthrall me, that make me cry. It’s how you sit eating lentils, picking them up one by one – that astounds me, little one, that incredible dexterity, determination, concentration, fascination on your face as you master the finest of fine motor skills; it’s this stuff which takes my breath away. It’s how you clap hands, or give us high fives; the way you “ask” to be tickled, lying on your back, rolling over feline style; the awe on your face when we watch “Baby Signing Time” and you twig what they mean, mimicking their hands, making your first signs.
It’s not the big things, babyone, not the milestones in the books, it’s you, it’s your character, your personality, your world; it’s just being here watching you.