A Not So Turkish Life

SOCS – Drafts

There are a total of 61 posts in my draft box. 61 posts that for one reason or another havent been finished, or if finished, I’ve lost the nerve to post. Silly that, huh. Not the ‘not finishing’ part—writers block, a little thing called a baby not understanding Mummy is busy, time simply running out—there’s a zillion and one reasons for those; but the ‘not posted’ ones, that’s a whole other kettle of fish.

Why havent I posted? The posts range are of complaints or worries about life, trivial comments on important world events, hundreds of mothering doubts, dreams, desires. There’s not one post that contains a feeling, a sense that is unique to me..I know if I posted, somewhere out there would be its blog-post kindred soul, so why don’t I post then?

Because like it or not, we’re shaped by our pasts and like it or not, our pasts taint our future and whether you’re writing about worries or doubt or dreams or desires, the past’s got something it wants to say. So? The big deal is? Well, our past’s never our own. We don’t hold monopoly over events we have witnessed, conversations that we’ve had; to write down our past, we include someone elses too. And while I might be ok to draw from the past, pull the good with the bad as its shaped my here and now, not everyone would be ok with re-reading the past, reliving my past, being forced to rethink their version of theirs.

So in my draft box sits more than 60 drafted posts which may never get posted, lest I get up the nerve.

#SOCsunday

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post below.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

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This entry was published on 11/20/2011 at 15:04. It’s filed under Externalise, Stream of Conciousness and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

10 thoughts on “SOCS – Drafts

  1. Wow! That’s a lot of drafts!!! I hope you’ll be able to post some of them. Looking forward to poking around, nice to “meet” you:)

  2. be brave – just post!

  3. I love the poetry woven into your SOC writing. (Love it when that happens for me!)

    I keep an “Unpolished Gems” file… each month is separate and I have oodles and oodles of unfinished work yet I know, if ever I am stuck, I can go back and rework, revamp, splatter some new paint and/or experience… and its all good.

    I am grateful you commented on my SOCSunday post this week. Great to hear from you!

  4. I just went through and deleted drafts (but saved them in word) that I knew I’d never post. I’m down to 6, I think…it was kind of liberating. I love your perspective on the past – I’d never thought of it like that before.

  5. That’s some good food for thought. If it’s hurtful to someone else and isn’t cathartic to you, it might be something you permanently shelve. If it’s something that you HAVE to say, you should say it. Just make sure you finish it and sit on it for 24 hours.

  6. Pingback: Learning how to love « A Not So Turkish Life

  7. Misty on said:

    I hope you’ll be able to find the courage to post some of those! I have posted about some really tough stuff on my blog, and even though I know it’s stuff lots of others have gone through, just writing it and putting it out there makes me feel better. And I’ve gotten a lot of help and support online for putting some of the issues/bad feelings/failures out there!

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