This morning I was in a funk. I wrapped up M and headed to the sea. Within seconds I felt the funk being blown away. I could smell the salty, crispness of the breeze whipping up the waves, feel the droplets that escaped to our cheeks, I watched the dance of the suns rays on the waters outer edge, saw the rainbow colours being made and listened to the seagulls call. I walked and I walked and I walked. And while I walked, past the fishermen with their buckets and the tea sellers with pull-along carts and teenagers eager to dive on in, while I walked my baby walked with me, head against my chest, seeing the world as I saw it, in his own unique way. As I walked, the anger and frustration I felt simply fell away.
After I posted last night, I realised people may ask “why?” If being a muslim throws so many challenges your way, why bother? Why complicate things? This morning as we walked, the answer was so clear: it’s the reason we’re here; it’s all for Him.
As my funk dissipated, my aura soothed by natures miracles all around, I felt the power of the calling of my faith. I felt blessed, because I am blessed. My child and I are free to walk where we please, we’re healthy and able to do so. We have a home, and food in our mouths. In my husband is a partner and a friend, and we’re surrounded by nothing but love and unconditional joy. We’re blessed in so so many ways and the faith that we have underpins all if it, every thing. I believe in the Almighty, the one God, Creator of it all; I believe He gives and takes it all. In my life, in my baby’s life, there are more thank yous needed than I know where to begin with, and so I try to say those thanks in the smaller things we do.
I live this way in gratitude for all that we have, in submission to the immensity of the creator of the world and in submission to the guidance for my soul that comes from above, that leads the way to the path that’s meant for me.
I do it because it’s the way that keeps me whole, it’s how I find my soul.
As I walked through the funk and felt it fall away, my baby felt it too. He took in the heartbeat and the elevations of my breath and felt it too. He felt how I felt when away, and he felt how it feels to come back.
I live this way to guide my soul; the soul which leads and holds my son.
Bismillah Ir Raman Ir Rahim.