When you’re a kid, you have a dream for life and although that dream changes with time, adapts with you – your character, the coexisting choices you make along the way – no matter how much time passes, if you can keep dreaming, that dream will stay alive. Filled with hope and untainted with doubt, dreams exist to lift us up, to let us believe in the extent of what we could be: There’s no such thing as a dream too big.
Four years ago, at round about this time of year, Baba and I stopped for a tea at a fish restaurant up above the Golden Horn. Yesterday we went back for lunch.
There are many things we wish for you, little boy. Some of these wishes aren’t ours to fulfil, but yours to choose. Others are for us to instil the wish of in you, so you can live them for you. If I got to ask one thing for you, after health and love, it would be spirit: I wish for you to be adventurous and bold, to not fear stepping outside the zone that you’re in, to have the desire to live true to yourself. I wish for your spirit to be you, and for you to be free.
The last time we were there, was a year ago next month. Grandma was here. We took her there for dinner; to show her where our wedding reception was held, just under a year before.
You may not want to realise this wish of mine for you. And that’s just fine, MKM. Never feel you have to do anything for us, your Baba and I. Never feel our wishes for you should guide your path for our biggest wish is that you find and live your own. I want you to know, babyone, that no matter what you dream for yourself, I’ll always wish for you…ALways dream with you. And if you can dream it, and it’s good for you, trust in Allah will make it real. Please don’t doubt this. If I can instil one thing only in you, my child, it would be this: Even if you can’t see His hand right then, don’t doubt that It’s around you, brushing through the trees sending a breeze to cool your skin and holding the glass from which you drink. He’s always there and everywhere, so even if… yani, especially if… you can’t see the way to make a dream come true, don’t doubt that if it’s meant for you, it will be for you – it may just take a while. Be patient, babyone.
That first day, our tea turned into dinner and then dinner into tea. We talked of this and of that, and of everything in between. We told each other of those dreams we’d lived and those of which we dreamt. As we left, helmets on, did we dream our dreams would soon be collective dreams? Did we dream we’d soon be dreaming a dream for you? Remember, MKM: if it’s good for you, if it’s meant to be, Allah guides your way.
I hope when you look back on the dreams that you’ve dreamt, you’ll see they’ve come true. I hope you dream bigger than you dream. And I pray those dreams never stop. Trust your dreams, baby.
The last time we were there, we were pregnant with you and only He knew.